Year by Year
by AddeGranger
Summary: Rose watches from afar as her cousin falls for the only boy she's ever loved
1. Year One

Year One

When she walked into the great hall I knew I was in trouble. At eleven years old she was already strikingly beautiful with her long red hair and gorgeous brown eyes. As soon as he saw her, his eyes followed her to the front of the hall and didn't leave her till she sat down at the Gryffindor table a few seats down from me. He took no notice of his Slytherin friends' teasing, acting as if he had never seen the girl before in his life. Of course this wasn't true- the two had met before- talked even! I'd witnessed it! And now the boy was drooling over her like she was some kind of Veela.

She was two years younger than him, and no other Slytherin boy would have imagined having a crush on a Gryffindor girl that childish. But he wasn't like any other Slytherin boy. In fact, I'm not quite sure why he was even sorted into that House in the first place. He and I had become friends after I had worked up the courage to speak to him, and he was nothing like any of the other beasts that House turned out. He certainly wasn't anything like my father had told me he would be- though I have beaten him on every test just like I promised!

My fears were confirmed when he went up to our table near the end of the feast and awkwardly said "Hi." He definitely fancied her. She giggled and returned his greeting before he walked away (looking quite pleased with himself, if I might add!). I waved to him as he left but he didn't notice.

Of course. This was just my luck. I'd spent two years trying to get that bloody Malfoy to notice me, and now all my cousin had to do to steal his attention was enter a room.


	2. Year Two

Year Two

When my family got to King's Cross on September 1st, I clutched my dad's arm even though I was fourteen years old until we reached the Hogwarts Express. Stalling, I stood with my parents and pretended to be interested in what my brother Hugo was saying. Luckily, I was relieved of him as soon as the Potters emerged from the crowds of parents and students milling around. He dashed off and in a flash he was engulfed in the Potter branch of the Weasley clan. For once his red hair didn't cause him too stick out as Aunt Ginny and Lily both have the same flaming locks he and I inherited from our dad.

I had long since stopped wearing my Hogwarts robes by that time. Not really wanting to board the train and face Scorpius, who had taken a real interest in my younger cousin in the past year, I whirled around and gripped my father's waist. For the first year I really didn't want to leave my parents. He looked down and cupped my face in his hand.

"Hey, Rosie. What's wrong? You've been off all day. You're always excited to leave for school."

Feeling an intense sadness at leaving him behind, I reburied my face into his good-smelling shirt. "Just a little sad about leaving you and Mum is all," I mumbled. He laughed kindly and told me that I would forget about him and Mum as soon as I boarded the train. I smiled and nodded and he glanced down at his watch.

"Time to go, Sweetie. You'll miss your train."

Before I knew it I had hugged my parents and aunts and uncles and older cousins and Teddy and was boarding the train. Albus, Hugo, and I found ourselves an empty compartment just as the whistle signaling 11:00 and the beginning of our journey. James eventually showed up, followed by Dominique and Louis. With the five of us in the compartment, it was already cramped, but Albus made the decision to announce that he had invited a friend to join them. The Weasleys groaned.

"This is a family only compartment, Al!" cried his brother.

"We always sit with each other! It's a Weasley tradition!" said Louis.

I rolled my eyes at them. "Who's this 'friend'?" I asked playfully. We were each other's best friends, but we liked to tease each other by pretending to replace the other.

"Just Malfoy," replied Albus.

I felt my heart skip a beat. "Since when are you two friends?" I demanded, all playfulness gone. He gave me a questioning look and shrugged.

When Malfoy did show up at the compartment door, Al graciously let him in… and who else but my cousin Lily followed him in! She sat down next to me and patted the small space next to her, motioning for him to sit there.

Scorpius grinned at me. He looked a bit funny in the compartment where everyone had either flaming red or jet-black hair. Not seeming to mind this, he squeezed himself in between Lily and me.

After everyone calmed down and got used to Scorpius being in there with us, I attempted to start up a conversation with Dom, but all I could focus on was Scorpius' arm around my cousin's shoulders.

It's going to be even worse than last year, I thought.

Brilliant.


	3. Year Three

Year Three

She was in her third year when they went to Hogsmeade together- of course this makes sense, as this was when she was allowed to go for the first time. I knew he was going to ask her to go with him, as he has told me himself, but it still hurt to see them walk along the windy road with her fiery hair blowing around her face and him tucking it behind her ear for her. Then there was the annoying fact that she was only thirteen and he (and I) was fifteen. How is it fair that she has a (kind of) boyfriend in her third year and the only boy who has ever asked me to go to Hogsmeade with him is my cousin?

Scorpius had told me that he was going to ask her when I was helping him with homework in the library. We'd had a pretty nice friendship all year and I'm afraid I had infected him with my stress about the O.W.L.s. He had approached me that afternoon and asked me to tutor him in charms. Obviously, I said yes – with butterflies in my stomach for so many reasons. First off, he noticed that I was good in charms. Secondly, he went to _me!_ Me! So you can't blame me for getting kind of excited when we were in the library all alone together and he brought up the topic of the upcoming Hogsmeade trip.

"You're getting better. Just a few more times and you'll have it down perfectly," I said, even though I secretly wanted him to keep screwing up the charm.

"You're a good teacher, Rose. Nobody else has been able to teach me this."

Oh my god.

I didn't know what to say so I absent-mindedly tucked my hair behind my ears and tried to hide my scarlet cheeks.

Twenty minutes later, he had the charm mastered and we were just stalling, not wanting to leave the library. I kept trying to say something but would start stumbling on my words. He would laugh and playfully mock me. I was happier than I had ever been.

"There's a Hogsmeade trip this Saturday, right?" he asked, settling back into his chair.

My heart stopped. This was it. He was going to ask me to go with him. I'd been waiting for this since third year. I bit the inside of my cheek and tried to hide my excitement.

"Do you think your cousin would like to walk into town with me?"

So, yeah. I basically died. But I pretended to make a joke out of it.

"Uh, I don't think Dom is interested. She usually doesn't go for younger guys. But I'll tell her you were interested." My grin fooled him. He laughed and rolled his eyes.

"I mean Lily. Is she going with anyone?"

"Not that I know of. She _is _only thirteen."

His eyes got a distant, far-away look in them. I could tell he was thinking of my cousin. My heart sank.

"Yeah, I guess she'd like that." I started to gather up my books. "Maybe you two could meet me and Al sometime."

"Sounds cool. Do you really have to go? Its only 7:00!" Scorpius rose and put his hand on my shoulder. "Thanks for helping me tonight. Maybe we could spend time together again."

He looked into my brown eyes with his grey ones. I hated that I was standing right next to a person who meant so much to me, but he didn't even know it.

To my horror, I felt a lump grow in my throat. I swallowed hard and closed my eyes tight. Before he could realize that I was on the brink of tears, I smirked and said, "I'm sure you'll be needing the help again!" He punched me good-naturedly.

"I probably will." He stood there awkwardly, as if he wanted to say something but couldn't think of anything.

I nodded, spun around on my heel, and ran all the way back to the Gryffindor tower, where I cried myself to sleep.

How pathetic is that? I know, right?

So seeing my cousin walk arm-in-arm with Scorpius just opened that wound all over again.

And not seeing them again for most of the day made it deeper.

And seeing them in that stinking romantic tea - shop together was like pouring salt into it.


	4. Year Four

**Year Four**

This chapter is about mistakes I made. Please don't think I'm a terrible person after you read this section of the story.

You would think that after six years, I would get over the guy. You would think that I would realize that it just wasn't meant to be. But obviously, if I had, I wouldn't be telling this story.

This was the year they became a couple, and I was forced to congratulate her.

This was also the year they broke up, and I was forced to comfort her.

Just before Halloween, I saw Lily and Scorpius talking together in an empty hallway. That night, she bounded up to me when I came through the portrait hole into the common room, eyes shining and cheeks flushed, ready to tell me the news that Scorpius had just asked her to be his girlfriend.

"I'm just so happy, Rose! I wanted to tell you first, since I knew you two were friends. Oh, and could you let Albus know for me? I don't want him to get mad, you know?"

I forced a smile. "That's great, Lil! I'm so happy for you! And yeah, I'll break it to Al. But he won't be happy." She beamed, then quickly hugged me and ran off to share her news with her little fourth-year friends.

I wish I could say that I was really happy for my cousin. I wish I could say that there wasn't a flame of jealousy burning up my insides. But that would be a lie.

What I did after that is not something I am proud of. I want you to remember that so you don't think of me as some kind of horrible person.

I sent a letter to my Uncle Harry, who is even more protective of Lily than my dad is of me, which is really saying something. I knew that he wouldn't want any boy dating his little girl, let alone the son of his childhood enemy. I mean, Uncle Harry nearly had a fit when Lily said something about a singer being "cute." I was sure he would put an end to this. Right I was.

The day The Boy Who Lived, aka the Chosen One, aka Undesirable No. 1, aka Uncle Harry came to Hogwarts, the whole school was talking about it. Naturally, the great vanquisher of Lord Voldemort was always allowed to drop by Hogwarts, so he literally just walked through the oaken front doors in his Muggle blue jeans and white tee. A few professors tried to come up and shake his hand or what not, but he ignored them and walked on by, straight into the Great Hall.

"Lily Luna Potter!" he roared as he approached his daughter. His eyes locked with hers, and Lily started to shrink down in her seat, trying to look anywhere but at her father.

"Hey, Dad!" said Al as Uncle Harry walked by, but he merely nodded to his son.

When he reached her, he clutched her shoulder in a falsely loving way. "We need to talk. Please come out in the corridor with me," he hissed.

"Can't this wait, Daddy?" whispered Lily. It was embarrassing enough for her father to be known by the entire wizarding community, but now he was being led down the middle of the Great Hall by her said famous dad. She kept her eyes down, careful not to make eye contact with anyone – until she passed Scorpius. Both Lily and Uncle Harry looked at him, one with pleading eyes and one with murderous ones. Scorp looked uncomfortable and turned his head. The only two people not watching and snickering were Scorpius and me.

Even though Uncle Harry slammed the thick doors behind them, the whole student body could hear what they were saying. It went a little something like this:

"HOW COULD YOU GO BEHIND MY BACK LIKE THAT?"

"Daddy, I was going to tell you, I swear! Please don't make me break up with him!" Lily sounded close to tears.

"You are _fourteen!_ You have no business dating any boys, let alone boys who are two years older than you, young lady!"

"Daddy, please!" She was definitely in tears now.

"No. You will break up with that Malfoy boy today. That is final."

"No! Please, Daddy!" Lily cried.

"Lily Luna, you will do as I say. If I find out you did otherwise, there will be serious consequences."

From here on, the sounds were muffled, and what they were saying could no longer be heard. Only the occasional cry of "Please!" or "But why, Daddy?"

I'd already felt guilty about playing the Daddy Card, but now hearing my little cousin cry, and seeing the other students laugh at her, my guilt multiplied my twenty. When Uncle Harry brought her back to her seat, they stopped at the Slytherin table, where Uncle Harry glared at Scorpius as Lily tearfully mumbled something to him. Scorpius bit his cheek and nodded, never taking his eyes off of my livid uncle.

Uncle Harry continued to walk with my cousin until they returned to Lily's seat. Every pair of eyes in the Great Hall was following them, and the only sound to be heard was the occasional snigger from the Slytherin direction. When Lily sat down again next to Hugo, he put his arm around her and let her cry into his shoulder. On his way out, Uncle Harry ruffled Al's hair and said, "See you in a few weeks, Son. Your mother sends her love." Al pursed his lips and wisely said, "Okay, Dad." Any contradiction of any kind would have meant a world of hurt for Albus.

By now, Lily was trying to pull herself together and the rest of the school had begun to talk again. Attention was drifting elsewhere, but the Weasley-Potter clan wouldn't hear the end of this one for a long time.

Okay, the next thing I did probably wasn't the most tactful thing to do, but I did it anyway.

That night, Lily was still crying. Al, Hugo, Lucy, Roxanne, Molly, Louis, and I were all sitting in the library with her, trying to console her, with no success.

After about an hour, I simply couldn't take it anymore. "Lil, I have to tell you something." She looked up, eyes red and puffy, from my brother's shoulder.

"I sent the letter to your dad. I'm sorry. I just didn't think you and Scorp were right for each other." Every head turned toward me, shocked. Most of the evening had been spent trying to figure out how Uncle Harry had even found out about Lily and Scorpius, so this came as a surprise.

"Don't give me that, Rose Weasley!" she hissed. "I should have known. You just wanted him for yourself!" She pushed her chair back so hard it left scratch marks on the floor.

"Lils, please! I said I was sorry!"

"Don't ever speak to me again!" She ran out of the library, nearly colliding with a student carrying a mountain of books.

I looked around at my brother and cousins, but no one looked the slightest bit forgiving. Just angry. Disappointed, maybe. I couldn't really read the looks on their faces. Even Al, my best friend, looked like he had just learned something horrible about me that would change his opinion of me permanently.

So this is where we are now.

It had gone too far.


	5. Year Five

**Year Five**

After the horrible things I did in my sixth year, I realized something. If getting Scorpius to notice me means causing a member of my family so much pain, then it just wasn't meant to be. So, in my seventh year, after spending the majority of my Hogwarts career dwelling on Scorpius Malfoy, I finally moved on. And I did the right thing for once.

Scorpius hadn't associated with anyone in my entire family since the incident. Not even Al, and the two of them had been best mates since our second year. But I went up to him one night in the library and changed that. I needed to fix things.

"Scorp? I need to talk to you."

When he saw it was me, he slammed his book shut and started to get up to leave, but I shoved him back into his chair. "I need to talk to you, and you are going to listen." I pulled up a chair and leaned in toward him so no one would hear us talking. Reluctantly, he settled back into his seat and prepared to hear me out.

"I want to start by saying I'm sorry. For everything. I had absolutely no right to go and tell my uncle about you and Lily like that. You have every right to hate me for the rest of your life." His expression stayed hard and unforgiving, but I had expected that.

"I only did it because I had had a crush on you since we started at Hogwarts. I know that isn't an excuse, and it only makes me seem like a horrid, jealous brat, but I just wanted you to know. Now, that being said, I have moved on." He narrowed his eyes at me, like I had only confused him by telling him that last bit. I ignored him. "You and Lily were meant to be. I hope I haven't ruined what you two had by making that stupid mistake." With that, I stood up to leave, but then remembered the other, most important thing I needed to tell him. "I spoke to my uncle again. He gives his blessing. But if you want, I'll tell Lils you convinced him." I winked at him and walked out of the library.

I was halfway to the Gryffindor common room when I heard someone's heavy footsteps behind me. "Rose, wait!" called Scorpius. Surprised at the urgency in his tone, I whirled around. When he caught up with me, he grabbed my shoulders and stared right into my eyes. "He really is okay with it? I can go out with Lily?" I nodded. Joy flooded his face and he just stood there for a minute. "You did this?" he finally got out. Again, I nodded. Without notice, he leaned over and kissed me on the cheek. We were all alone in the corridor, but I still checked over my shoulder to make sure none of my cousins had seen. "Thank you!" he whispered. He hugged me tightly and then ran off.

"Where are you going?" I hollered after him.

"To tell Lily!"

"She's in the common room, smart one!"

That night, I lay in my bed and reflected on everything that had happened that night. I pictured my thirteen-year-old self receiving a kiss on the cheek from Scorpius Malfoy. Laughing silently, I realized how much time and energy I spent on "loving" him. That was time I would never get back. I also realized how much I had resented one of my closest cousins up until, like, right now. If I hadn't moved on, the bond the two of us shared might have been permanently severed. And nothing, nothing in the world, would have been worth that.


End file.
